


Leidenschaftlich

by DAYUM



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Violet Evergarden AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 12:59:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17366303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DAYUM/pseuds/DAYUM
Summary: The kiss told everything.





	Leidenschaftlich

**Author's Note:**

> It means passion.

…………..........

 

Tap, tap, tap. 

 

The sound of fingers hitting the type writer echoes within his heart. 

 

Tap, tap, tap. 

 

Thankfully, no one could hear his heart break to pieces; because the tapping sounds masked it.

 

“I’ve yet to tell you those three special words but I’m already excited to be yours; as you are to be mine. Sincerely, NJM” Jaemin quietly finishes as Renjun made the final touches in the parchment. 

 

If there was anything Renjun should feel after taking up the ghost writing request, it would be regret.

 

It was the kind of regret that borders bittersweet. This Na Jaemin was his first and only love; all elegant, regal man of pink hair that Renjun would pay to run his fingers freely. His first love that had befriended him in the tender years of childhood, who stayed with him through tumultuous puberty, is still his friend in the present.

 

How bittersweet it is that this same person that Renjun loved-no loves, is preparing thirty special love letters for the person he will hold dear in his heart. 

 

And it wasn’t Renjun. Yet it was Renjun who had to write it for him. 

 

He very well couldn’t curse his own job at CH Postal Services. He loved writing for people; whether it is full of angst, anger, happiness, announcements or events, he wrote with a passion to deliver the emotion of the people. 

 

But he couldn’t even think straight to deliver the emotion his friend is aiming for another. For the first time in his working history, Renjun wanted to tear the letters, throw them in the air and dance in it. 

 

But he couldn’t. 

 

He loved Jaemin too much to ruin his happiness. 

 

Giggling in order to mask the saddest thought in his head, Renjun smiles to le the pink-haired boy know that the 29th letter was done. One more and all of it would be over. 

 

Like the echoes of tapping until it stops. 

 

“Thank you, Jun. It’s already sunset though and everyone from your company has left. I think we should leave the 30th one for tomorrow.” Jaemin replies happily. 

 

Of course he would be happy. One more and the love of his life would finally claim him and Renjun would be left alone.

 

He swallows a sob and nods stiffly, hoping that Jaemin did not catch his odd behaviour. Dainty fingers worked to arrange the heavy type writer into the small suitcase. This was the same dainty fingers that used to be covered by Jaemin’s wider ones when they scoured through the small river when they were children; the same fingers that were now sealing the letters that contained Jaemin’s feelings. 

 

“Renjun,do you think he would like this?” Jaemin asks once he receives the 29th letter and is holding it gingerly in his hand. Jaemin contemplates placing the letter along with its predecessors in the small knapsack he carried.

 

Why are you asking me?

 

“Of course he’d like that. Anything that comes from you is likeable. Perfect, even.” Renjun replies. Well, he wasn’t lying.

 

“You’re the best, Jun!” Jaemin murmurs happily before placing the letter carefully in the knapsack.

 

Of course, I am your best friend after all. It shouldn’t have sounded bitter, the promise of friendship. But for someone like Renjun who had wished to be Jaemin’s more-than-friend, it sounded as bitter as cocoa.

 

“Let’s go” Renjun says when he carries the type writer in both hands. He still couldn’t carry it in one. Jaemin decides against offering to help, he knew the elder would whack him for even thinking he couldn’t carry the small machine.

 

“Do you want to come by for dinner? I’ll make you dumplings!” Jaemin suggests when they were now walking the well-lit street. 

 

The lamp posts were burning a bit brighter tonight. As if they knew Renjun needed something to guide him home without getting lost; getting lost in the warmth of Jaemin’s doe eyes.

 

Renjun would have loved it but he needed time. 

 

“I’m sorry, Nana. I need to continue working on some bill reports that I have been stashing away the previous week. Boss Taeil would be mad if I still don’t hand them by tomorrow.”

 

Funny how easily the lies slip from his lips. All so he could avoid breaking down in front of the reason.

 

“Are you sure? I’ll make them tasty and spicy.” He hears the tinge of whine in the pinkette’s tone. 

 

It was making Renjun’s decisions waver. 

 

Thankfully, his street came into view. “I really can’t. I have to hand everything in by tomorrow. Thank you for the offer though. I gotta go.” The elder gently pushes past the pinkette to enter the apartment building. He gives a half-hearted wave before disappearing in the doors.

 

In his haste, he did not notice Jaemin frowning because he had not packed any bills into the packet of his case when they were preparing to leave. 

 

Careless.

 

Inside, Renjun runs the remaining stairs towards his room, careful enough to avoid banging the case he was carrying. Once he unlocks the door, he places the case in his bed and stands before the window. The pinkette was nowhere in sight. He already left. 

 

He slumped down below the window and let the first few tears fall. In all the times Jaemin walked him home, the pinkette would always wait until Renjun would open the window to shout another ‘goodbye’. It was their tradition. 

 

Renjun lets out a sad sob before rubbing the palms of his hands in his eyes. Once he regains a bit of composure, he whispers: “Why can’t it be me?” 

 

He stands and opens the case. He pulls out the typewriter and unearths a yellowing paper due to age. It was his first letter to Jaemin, typewritten a year ago when he had graduated as top of the class in Leidenschaftlich’s Academy for Auto Memoir Dolls. 

 

As all letters purpose, it was supposed to be sent to the recipient but Renjun couldn’t find the will to do so. 

 

He was scared of rejection; the unwanted change in their dynamics that could leave them with a scar in their hearts or worse, a break in their friendship. He opens the letter, slides down with his back to the bed and rereads it. Just like the hundreds of times he did each time he reaches home.

 

For a year he protected the letter from the rain, crumpling and possible tearing by placing it in a compartment underneath the type writer. Carefully folded, it was still immaculate despite the yellowish hues from time. Now, he allows a teardrop to fall on the parchment. 

 

It was no use.

 

The person meant to receive it was not going to be his, anyway. 

 

What was the point?

 

His feelings should have been stashed away just like how he kept that letter for a year. 

 

“I love you and this is all I know.” He whispers, as if it was the last time the letter will be read in the open; in the same room that its contents were whispered over and over again to the phantom air in replacement of the person who was supposed to hear it.

 

Another sob. 

 

“Na Jaemin.”

“Huang Renjun” 

 

Never had he whipped his head towards the door so fast in his life. He had not noticed that he left the door ajar when he rushed into the room. Now, he faces the same person that should have received the letter a year earlier. 

 

“D-do you mean that, Jun?” Jaemin says, breaking the trance that was Renjun who was still clutching the paper. 

 

Renjun’s hands began to tremble.

 

“This-this was-“ Renjun stutters, lying wouldn’t help him this time.

 

“You didn’t answer me. Do you mean what you said, in that letter?” Jaemin’s determination was scaring Renjun. 

 

Was he angry? Was he disgusted? 

 

It was tiring.

 

“YES! ALL OF IT! I WROTE IT FOR YOU!” Renjun yells brokenly, thinking there is no other way out. He will accept whatever damage he deserves for being careless.

 

However, when he surveys the look on Jaemin’s face it was elation he found. Renjun was dumbstruck. 

 

Why is he smiling? Why isn’t he-

 

“RENJUN I LOVE YOU TOO” the pinkette yells before surging forwards to cradle the elder in his arms. 

 

“All this time, Renjun it was always you. Always you, ever since we met; when you came to my life looking all pretty and so kind. I have always loved you.”

 

Oh, how he missed being hugged like this. When did it stop? Was it when Renjun distanced himself from the pinkette when he asked for help with the letters? The letters-

 

“The letters I had you write was all for you too, dummy. All supposed 30 letters were for you and you alone.” Jaemin murmurs in the elegant neck of the elder. 

 

“But why didn’t you say-“

 

“Because I too, was afraid of telling you, Jun.” 

 

“We could have been spared of this complication!” Renjun wheezes; tearing up while laughing was a weird combination but for Jaemin he looked beautiful. 

 

“I could say the same to you.” Jaemin coos before guiding the elder’s hand to straighten the letter and began to read it. 

 

He was owed a confession letter from the person he had asked to write confession letters for him. Gosh, they were complicated!

 

“Dear Na Jaemin…”

 

Thirty letters later, they kissed. A year-late kiss but was worth all the pining and misunderstanding they created themselves but they had fixed in the end. 

 

“Well, it looks like we actually created all 30, thanks to your year-late one.”

 

“I still deserve the 30th that comes from you.”

 

“Fine-“ Jaemin lovingly adds,

 

“Dear Huang Renjun..” 

 

The kiss told everything.

**Author's Note:**

> That RENMIN drabble I mentioned? Yeah. This is it.
> 
> *please don't torch me for creating one while disregarding the updates for CONSORT OF THE DYNASTY* 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you liked it. 💛 
> 
> P.s. I love VIOLET EVERGARDEN  
> P.s.s. I love RENMIN, NOREN, NOMIN and NORENMIN. 😭


End file.
